Confessions
by Skyrvy
Summary: Jakob struggles to his lady how he feels... This is a two-chapter story that involves part of Jakob and Corrin's A-support as well as their S-support. Fire Emblem If/Fates fanfiction Jakob/Joker/Corrin/Kamui/Female Avater
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N Thanks to MissKindOwl for giving me the idea for this story! :]_**

 ** _I took liberties with the support conversations so they aren't word-for-word._**

I am in love with Lady Corrin.

How can I deny it any longer? All these years… All this time. I have done my best to be a good butler. I have tried my hardest to meet my lady's every need and notice her every preference… I have done my job too well.

She… She is my reason for living… She was always been special to me for the help she gave me when we were children, but now… there is no possible way I could love her any less….

A long time ago, when I first realized that my affection for my lady was increasing into something more than a butler should feel for his mistress, I tried to quench it. Indeed, I tried my hardest to shut it out of my mind and just serve her the way any butler would serve any mistress…

But I couldn't.

In my eyes, she is perfect.

From her beautiful, wavy hair to her dark crimson eyes and her slightly pointed ears, she is enchanting and mysterious, graceful and elegant….

Then there's the fact that her world has been turned upside down... Nothing was as it used to be. Her family is not her family, she hardly has a real home, and she is out in the world unlike she had ever been before. And how does she react to all of this?

She fights with determination, and she helps everyone else before herself, and she is warm and kind and generous to a fault!

And I love her…

God forgive me, I love her!

When I finally admit this to myself in the middle of the night, after weeks, months, years, of denial, I am devastated. This is so terribly improper for a butler, and I must not remain in her service any longer!

… Mustn't I?

Unable to sleep, my heart twists around in my chest, and I clutch at it with my hands.

Leave Corrin? The thought alone makes my world darken, as my future path, once so obvious, disappears before my eyes. What would I do? Where would I go? But… I realize suddenly, that hardly even matters… because wherever I go and whatever I do, it will be without Corrin…

 _Ok, then, I love her. That won't ruin anything. I can keep it in check… I can just serve her and be her most trusted and loyal companion for all of my days. I'll fight with her through this war, and then we'll go home, and it will just be the two of us…_

In the back of my mind another voice pipes up, a little traitorous voice. _The two of you? The two of you forever? But it won't just be the two of you, will it….? One day, somewhere, Corrin will fall in love, and then—!_

 _No, no, no! I cannot watch her marry someone else! I cannot wait on her husband as I have waited on her. I cannot! I am not strong enough!_

I'm suffocating. I feel like I'm suffocating, and I sit up in bed. The sheets are twisted about my body and neck and are strangling me! I pull them from me, tear them from me and gasp for breath, throwing them onto the floor and finding myself somehow there as well, hands and knees on the cool, hard wood, and I just breathe.

 _I cannot leave. I cannot stay._

I have made a decision.

I must not put my lady into this position. If she only knew the fevered dreams I have about her, her radiant eyes, her flushed cheeks, her—No! No. I stop myself. This is precisely the reason why I must leave. I will tell her I love her, and that I cannot remain as her butler any longer and request to be removed as soon as possible. I love her too much to stay by her side… Whatever my dismal future holds, I would rather face it than cause my lady pain.

It's late afternoon, and we are between battles in a rest period of sorts. I fortify myself, straighten my vest, and go to Lady Corrin's private quarters. I knock but don't bother waiting for a reply before I open the door and step in. She's sitting on her bed reading a book but glances up at my entrance. A smile spreads across her face.

And suddenly my mouth is incredibly dry.

"Lady Corrin," I choke. "May I have a moment?"

"Of course, Jakob." She sets down her book to give me her full attention. "Oh, before you do, I've been wanting to thank you for teaching me how to make tea!"

These last days have been so precious, being so near her as I tried my hardest to teach her at least a simple tea… Now, I realize that I won't be able to help her anymore… I won't be able to stand next to her and watch as she smiles and asks if she's doing it right, and… "As always, I am delighted to serve you." The automatic words fall from my lips.

The smile slips from her face, "Um, you look pretty unhappy for a man who's supposedly delighted… What's wrong?"

This was it. I step towards her. "I…" I hesitate. "I need to apologize to you, my lady… I am… truly, deeply sorry."

"Jakob, whatever for?"

My heart is pounding, and for the second time I feel as if I can't breathe, and I want to take off my jacket immediately, and I don't want to see the confusion on her face replaced with shock and dismay at the words I have to speak, and I don't know if I can do this! "The truth is…" I start, as she looks at me with concern, and I feel as if I'm losing myself in those eyes… I swallow and the next moment I'm shouting, "You're tea was quite bitter!"


	2. Chapter 2

I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it, and I could curse myself for my weakness!

I have been avoiding her ever since my failed attempt to tell her the truth of how I feel.

Worse, I promised to never leave her side! How can I… How can I keep that promise when I can't even properly perform my duties because I can't concentrate because… because I can't stop thinking of my sweet, courageous, strong yet gentle Corrin with eyes the color of a deep red moon and silky soft hair that looks amazing no matter whether she's just combed it or just come back from a battle…

I sigh... And shake myself out of my wandering thoughts for the third time today.

This is… This is impossible! I can't be her butler. I can't focus on anything, and when she finds somebody else… I can't keep this up. The truth is, I'm going to have to break my promise and leave her. As much as it hurts, I don't see any other way. I can't even work for her anymore! I must be strong! I must—

"Hey, Jakob, can you show me how to make that one tea that's kind of spicy?" Her voice startles me.

I turn to her. I stare at her. _No… no, Corrin, I can't show you because I have to leave you because… I love you…_ "Tiger's milk? Certainly, my lady…"

I turn to get the herbs I need. After a moment of silence, Corrin speaks again. "You know… you've been sounding a bit distant lately." I stiffen, heat washing over my face. "Did I offend you somehow?"

My lady? Offend me? I turn to reassure her. "Oh… no… You could never…" I try, but she steps closer, and her hand touches my cheek, and I freeze.

"Are you alright?" She asks, concern in her eyes. "You seem anxious."

"I'm—I'm…" I let out a breath, covering her hand with my own for a moment, then taking it and holding it. "I'm _not_ alright, Lady Corrin. You don't know how sorry I am, but…" I cannot look into her eyes as I say the painful words, "I can no longer serve as your butler."

"What?!" I don't try to stop her when she pulls her hand from mine. "Just the other day you promised you would never leave my side! What—What has changed?" She looks around her as if she might see the problem before her, then stops as it occurs to her,"I… I really did do something to offend you, didn't I?"

"No, my lady, you have certainly never offended me! My reason for leaving is… It's… something else entirely." I swallow.

"Well what is it? _Please_ tell me. You must tell me!" Her eyes are so earnest, her expression so desperate.

"I… I've…" I can't seem to make the words come out louder than a harsh whisper, "My Lady Corrin, I've fallen in love with you!" I shut my eyes as she makes a small sound of surprise. I don't want to see her reaction. I can't see her reaction. "However, it is not proper for a butler to be in love with his mistress." My words growing ever fainter, I try and fail to sound firm. "As such, I must ask to be reassigned to new duties far away from you… my lady…"

"Jakob," She whispers my name, and I can feel her standing close. "I don't want you to leave!" My heartrate quickens, and I can't avoid her any longer. I open my eyes, the surprise probably evident on my face. "Jakob," she goes on, "I can't imagine going through each day without you! I need you, Jakob… I…"

My heart is in my throat, but I step towards her nevertheless and look at her. "My lady?"

"I…" She starts. She looks down and takes my hand in hers, just holding it for a moment. She meets my eyes again. "Jakob, I love you too!"

"What?" I whisper with pure shock and disbelief. "Lady Corrin, do you—do you mean that?"

"Of course I do! I—I've always liked you of course, but… recently… you've come to mean so much more."

"My Lady Corrin, I—I must be dreaming!"

She gives a small laugh. "If you're dreaming, then so must I be, for I never thought this day would come! When I came to realize I loved you, I despaired of you ever crossing the line between a servant and a master…"

I brush a finger across her cheek. "To be honest," I confess, "I crossed the line long ago..." 

"Jakob," she murmurs tenderly. She bites her lip a moment, and my eyes flicker down. "Request granted," she says. "You are hereby fired as my butler." I laugh, and I can't stop my hands from caressing her cheeks. She swallows, briefly glancing away, then meeting my gaze once more. "Would you—Would you consider being my husband instead?"

"Corrin, my love! Yes! Nothing would make me happier!" Never ever had I thought this might be possible! My dearest, most impossible desire come true! Corrin's face is flush, her eyes shining, and I can't resist any longer.

I lean in close, and touch my lips to hers. A shiver passes through her, and instantly my hands move from her face to slide about her waist instead. I pull her to me, and she comes without resistance, her small hands tightening in my jacket. Pressing closer still, she breathes my name against my mouth, and I am unable to resist her offering. I deepen the kiss, my hands sliding up her back as hers move to my neck, and I've never been so happy in my entire life.

"You are…" I whisper, trying to find words that would encompass what she is to me. "You are my everything."

She buries her face in my neck. "I love you, Jakob."

My whole body feels warm and light and wonderful. "And I love you, Corrin…" But I need to say it out loud again after keeping it hidden for so long. I tighten my embrace. "I love you."


End file.
